This Still Counts, Right?

I was at Five Below yesterday, and we saw this stuff on the shelf there.

This still works for the carnivore diet, right?

I posted the picture on my carnivore Facebook group, and most people understood that it was a joke, but several of them didn't notice the word "gummy" on the labels, and started talking about nitrates and processed meat, and suggesting I'd be better off skipping out on it. 

It's not the first time that I've had that reaction when making a joke on Facebook. There's always a certain percentage of people who don't understand that it's not serious. I feel bad when that happens. Not sure if I did a bad job with the joke, or that it just doesn't work in print...I guess this is what comedians are talking about when they say they are trying out new material. They judge the audience reaction, and refine their wording to make it funnier.

Anyway, on with the countdown. The baloney and bacon wasn't the only weird gummies we saw at Five Below. In fact, it wasn't even what caught our attention. The first thing that we noticed were these atrocities:

Not quite sure why, but these ones gross me out a lot more than eating gummy baloney or bacon. I need to see the joke in these things better. I'm like the guy on Facebook that missed that my post was a joke. I suppose it would be fun taking these to school and making them up like they were crackers and cheese and then handing them to a friend to try.

Or what about this?

I think that's a real tortilla with gummies inside of it for the burrito. Maybe not, but I don't know.

What about this one?

My daughter liked this one. She said I should have bought it for her and brought it home to try. Would Canadians eat this with ketchup? Would The Barenaked Ladies eat this with fancy dijon ketchup?

They had the craziest crap in gummy form there. You'll never guess what else I found there. Look at this one!

What the hell? What kind of crazy person would make a gummy in the shape of a bear? That's craziness, I tell you. Craziness!