F--- Batman!

No, I'm not here to talk about the new Teen Titans TV show, despite the title of this post. Instead, I just wanted to communicate my feelings about Batman and his wimpy little Batmobile. I used to think the Batmobile was awesome, like way better than the Spider Buggy, pretty much tip top among all superhero transportation. But that was before I was driving past my local McDonald's today and saw this piece of badassery parked out front:

Now this is what I would call traveling in style.

Imagine how many chicks would flock to you if you could pull up in a ride like this, get out, and lean on it like you owned it.

It'd probably be like that episode of Friends when Joey finds the keys to some guy's Porsche and then everyone seem to think he's so much cooler and more interesting because they believe he owns the car.

What a dream it would be to own this sweet ride.

Not all of us can be Ronald McDonald though. Not all of us can fight crime and be a sex machine with all the chicks. And don't tell me to shut my mouth, because I am not talking about Shaft.

Look at the sweet daddy interior on this thing. Now that is class.

And again, Batman ain't got nuttin' on this piece of pure machismo. Look at that steering wheel. Ronald's logo is so much cooler than the bat logo.

I was standing in front of this thing just imagining the thrilling excitement as Ronald and Grimace raced across the city in hot pursuit of the Hamburglar.

It takes somebody special to bring that villain to justice. I just wish I could be that awesome.

So that I could drive a car with this kind of style...

And grace...

Someday, Jennifer. Someday.