Saturday, February 27, 2010

Breaking Dawn

A couple of years ago, my wife, like many women in America, became a fan of the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. I was still clueless, at this time, about this whole phenomenon. There hadn't been movies yet, in fact the movies were still just rumored. My wife read them, and loved them so much that she begged me to read them as well, so that we could discuss them.

Luckily for me, the library had them in audio, and I listened my way through the three books that existed at the time. They were very much written for women. I would not have been surprised to see a white-skinned Fabio gracing the covers of these books. To my dismay, the discussion that my wife and I had afterwards went something like this:

"You finished them?"


"What did you think?"

"Meh, they were all right."


And that was it.

I probably should have quit then and there, but I'm just not that smart. So when the library's audio copy of Breaking Dawn became available, I checked it out, and listened to it. Like its predecessors, it was very, very female oriented, and very much a romance book in disguise as a fantasy/horror novel. There were a lot of times where I found myself simply gagging as Meyer waxed on and on about how wonderful Edward Cullen was, or how wonderful it was to be married to Edward Cullen, or how wonderful...URK...sorry, I just threw up a little in my mouth there. Give me a minute to go get a drink, I'll be right back.

. . .

Sorry about that. I'm doing okay now. Anyway, if Meyer could have refrained from overly romance-booking the story, it could have been an interesting and legitimate fantasy novel. There were ideas in it that were interesting, if not exactly groundbreaking. Unfortunately, the packaging made the contents too undesirable for me.

Worst of all, when I finished, my wife and I talked about it. She'd been waiting a year for me to finally get around to listening to that book after all. The conversation went something like this:

"You finished it?"


"What did you think?"

"Meh, it was all right."


If only I'd learned from the first time.

Guys, avoid these books. Girls, enjoy them. See you next time.


  1. Yeah... In defense of rational chicks everywhere, I can't stand these books and none of my friends like them, either. However, I also don't like genre romance, so that's probably why.

  2. My biggest complaint with the first book, besides Bella being so throughly unlikable, was how poorly-written it all was, as if written for fourteen year olds . . . by a thirteen year old.

    Was that the case in this last book?

  3. I don't know. Someone who writes as poorly as I do...I feel a little weird passing judgment on the writings of others...wait, no I do that all the time anyway. Rejected!

    I never noticed how poorly-written it was, but that could be because it was audio. I don't know. I'm not nearly the writer that you are though, so it's no surprise. Give me an example and I can tell you if it continued.

  4. Fortunately, my wife doesn't read for enjoyment. Unfortunately, I do. I read the first book. That's it. And, my response was pretty much the "It's all right" of yours. The movies are more enjoyable that the books, if only because you're done in under two hours.

    I agree with your interpretation of the books, by the way. A ton of potential, but not a romance.

    All in all, not the "bad fanfic" I've heard it called, but definitely not for me.

  5. my friend also begged me to read the series so we could discuss it. i did so and was immediately disgusted with myself for wasting so much of my precious time. it baffles my mind what ridiculousness bleeds its way into pop culture. teen girls are now fantasizing over what is essentially an undead sparkly stalker that watches you when you sleep. how does that not disturb people?!

    anyway, i have so much more i could say about this series but it would probably become an overly long rant.... See More

    i can already feel it gearing up so i'd better press the comment button now before the urge gets too great.