Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Repro Star Wars

Today's video talks about the phenomenon of '80s toy reproductions. Is that something that collectors should be worried about?

Superstar

I was so excited when I saw Ronald's Red Shoe car the other day, but I had no idea how much further my day would be made. Right after seeing that car, then I met the man himself. The boy wonder to Ronald's Batman, here he was!


Yeah, I have to admit I was pretty starstruck. What a day!

Sunday, March 17, 2019

F--- Batman!

No, I'm not here to talk about the new Teen Titans TV show, despite the title of this post. Instead, I just wanted to communicate my feelings about Batman and his wimpy little Batmobile. I used to think the Batmobile was awesome, like way better than the Spider Buggy, pretty much tip top among all superhero transportation. But that was before I was driving past my local McDonald's today and saw this piece of badassery parked out front:


Now this is what I would call traveling in style.


Imagine how many chicks would flock to you if you could pull up in a ride like this, get out, and lean on it like you owned it.


It'd probably be like that episode of Friends when Joey finds the keys to some guy's Porsche and then everyone seem to think he's so much cooler and more interesting because they believe he owns the car.



What a dream it would be to own this sweet ride.


Not all of us can be Ronald McDonald though. Not all of us can fight crime and be a sex machine with all the chicks. And don't tell me to shut my mouth, because I am not talking about Shaft.


Look at the sweet daddy interior on this thing. Now that is class.


And again, Batman ain't got nuttin' on this piece of pure machismo. Look at that steering wheel. Ronald's logo is so much cooler than the bat logo.


I was standing in front of this thing just imagining the thrilling excitement as Ronald and Grimace raced across the city in hot pursuit of the Hamburglar.


It takes somebody special to bring that villain to justice. I just wish I could be that awesome.


So that I could drive a car with this kind of style...


And grace...


Someday, Jennifer. Someday.

Monday, March 11, 2019

Toy Fair Episode

Just finished uploading my latest video. In it, I talk about the stuff they announced at the recent New York Toy Fair, and how it has gotten me all excited.

Thursday, March 7, 2019

Is Spring Springing?

I grew up in Sacramento, so I'm used to Spring coming early, and Summer being way too long and hot. But I don't think we ever had to deal with this. Look at my car:


We went to New York for the weekend, and when I got back, the thing looked like this. Pollen overload. I think there was a fair amount of rain and wind while we were gone. The wind sent the pollen airborne and the rain made it stick to the car when it landed. And now I've got this gross mess.

I tried to get a car wash the other day, but each time I drove past, there were at least five cars in line. I guess everyone else had the same problem as me. Maybe I'll get it washed soon, but I'm not waiting in line thirty minutes for a car wash. The thing drives just fine when it's dirty. I'm not too proud to drive a dirty car.

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

New Wall-P

When we moved to Houston, my wife insisted that we have a pool. She said she wasn't moving to someplace as hot as this without some sort of refuge. So, we got one. Let me tell you, a pool is not just a water pit, it's also a money pit. We've had to fix issues with the pool over and over, including getting a whole new pump which cost a boatload.

Our pool came with a Polaris pool sweeper--one of those robot things that tools around the bottom of your pool vacuuming up the stuff that falls in. I tend to name all of my electronics...my computer is Optimus Prime, my phone is Conky, my car was Bumblebee...so I had to name this thing. After all, this thing was an actual robot. It had to have a name. We decided to call it Wall-P. Wall-E from the movie's name stood for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-class. So, since our pool sweeper was doing the same job as Wall-E but for our pool, he was Waste Allocation Load Lifter Pool-class.

Unfortunately, Wall-P was a pretty old robot. I just found out that he was a full ten years old. For the last year and a half he's had nothing but issues like the rest of our pool's equipment. Recently, he's just been sitting at the bottom of the pool doing absolutely nothing. There was no difference when he was turned on or turned off. He always looked like this:


So, we fished him out and took him to the pool store to have him looked at. They told us that to get him repaired would cost more than it would to just buy a new one. My wife shopped around, found us a good deal, and now we have a new Wall-P in our pool. When we plugged him in and turned him on, he jumped up and went right to work, scrubbing that pool till it shined like those Dow Scrubbing Bubbles.


When we talked about giving it a name, we didn't know what to call it. The kids were calling it Wall-P, but it wasn't Wall-P, because that robot was in the trash can. They also called him Wall-P2, a la the Simpsons and Snowball II. But that just doesn't resonate. I suggested a little mashup of franchises. We could call it Wall-P2D2. But it was just too unwieldy. Maybe just P2D2 for short? Like saying Artoo.

My wife, however says that we've all got it wrong. This new robot isn't a boy at all. She says it has to be a girl. It does too good of a job cleaning. Boys always do half-assed jobs.

"Ah," I said, "So we need to call it Eva, you're saying?"

I guess that's exactly what she's saying, because she's been calling it that in any conversation we have about it ever since.

Goodbye Wall-P. Thanks for your service. Hello, Eva. Welcome to the family.


The pool looks so nice and clean, too bad the water's still so freaking cold that it numbed my arm when I hooked Eva up to the pump. It'll be nice to be able to go swimming again in a few months.

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Foreheads

They don't just sell lettuce in heads at my local store. Now they also sell it as 4 heads!


Get it? Get it? Four heads...foreheads? Get it? Foreheads? Get it?