Did April Powers Bring May Flowers?

I meant to do one of these writing updates once a week, but I'm...three weeks overdue. Whoops!

So, what's going on right now? Well, I am suffering from a little bit of writer's block these days.

I think, after all this time, I finally understand what writer's block is. I used to think it was when you sat down at the keyboard, went to type and some kind of door in your brain slammed shut and you couldn't write anything. It's not really like that, though. It's different. I'll describe what I'm up to and see if it makes sense.

So, for the last month or so, I have been doing prep work for my book idea called The Gauntlet. It's about a pair of young adults, Ramona and Sebastian, who get visited by a weird looking guy and told they have inherited a gauntlet from a long lost relative of theirs. These two are surprised, because they have been orphans for most of their lives, and didn't know they had any relatives anywhere. Turns out the gauntlet they inherited gives them superpowers, and they have now been drafted into the fight against the ancient sorcerer, Gwydion, who lives in the Otherworld, and only the power of the magic in the gauntlet keeps him from invading our world.

I've been writing a treatment for this book. It's grown pretty long. The treatment is sitting and 10,393 words right now. It's novelette length already. I've pretty much arrived at the climax, and I'm trying to figure out how to make it work. Their enemy has defeated them so completely, but they have to go back and take him on again. How will it change this time? The odds seem stacked against them way more than the last time they faced. What can they do to make it work?

That's my problem. I don't know! I'm not sure how to make it believable that they triumph in the end. I'm trying to come up with ideas, but they don't really come. And so, I'm blocked. I sit down to the keyboard, and type a couple of words, and then just quit. And that's on the days that I do write, because I have been avoiding writing as well due to my situation. I don't feel like struggling to come up with an idea. I have writer's block, and I finally understand just exactly what that means.

I finished off last month on a pretty weak note. Here's my chart:

I haven't gotten over five hundred words for most of the month, and the last week I was getting piddly numbers under 200. I even did a mere 84 on the very last day of the month. May was much worse than April. Check out the comparison from the last chart:

15,000 words compared to less than 9,000 in May. Hell, May even has an extra day. But don't worry, it gets worse. This is my chart so far this month:

Through the first five days, I haven't even managed to get 200 words. More days not writing than writing. I almost didn't even make it over 100 on the two days that I did write. It's just pitiful.

So, how do I get through this? Do I spend some time working on a different story for a while and then come back to this one? Maybe I need to force myself to drive to work in silence--no podcasts, no audiobooks, no music--and let my mind turn over the problem. Better yet, I should hook up a mic, and make myself talk about it out loud, because it's too easy for my mind to wander to other subjects if I don't feel like anyone's listening, but if I'm recording, it tricks my mind into thinking someone's listening, even though no one ever will. Or maybe I should call Rish Outfield and talk with him about it on my drive to work. He helped me with a spot I was having trouble with earlier in the story.

I feel like I really ought to be writing on this book for real by now. Not still piddling around trying to make a treatment for the thing.

I guess I'm getting hit pretty bad with that impostor syndrome. I feel like I can't turn this idea into a good book. Maybe somebody else could, but I'm not a real writer. Just a jackass podcaster who likes to talk about writing on the Dunesteef from time to time like I know what I'm saying. I'm like a boy wearing his dad's clothes, and pretending to be a an adult. It's so cute when little kids go clomping around in oversized shoes, but nobody's gonna pay that kid to fix his air conditioner, no matter what coveralls and boots he might be wearing.

Do I have what it takes to write a book? Can I create interesting characters that aren't just thinly veiled versions of myself? This guy is Big Anklevich but a mathlete. This one is Big Anklevich in a dress. That's what it feels like I do.

I want to be super positive and say, "I'm going to tackle this head on and defeat it! I'm going to turn things around!" But I don't really have much confidence in that. I hope I can turn it around and keep going. We'll see how it goes.