Thursday, January 13, 2011

Douche, part 2

I know it is really an invaluable thing, and something I'd never want to do without, but sometimes I hate the internet.

Why would I say such a thing? Well, the other day, I was conversing with a friend of mine via Instant Messenger. I made a joke in poor taste, something that I do a lot really, but this time around offense was taken. Upon further review, the joke was a very douche-y thing to say, so I should have expected the reaction that I got. I tried to apologize, and insist that I didn't mean it, that it was just a joke and all that, and eventually we moved on.

But here's the thing that makes me hate the internet sometimes. This whole altercation left me upset and depressed for the rest of the day. Despite what my character on our show does and says, I'm not really like that guy. I'm not confident, good with the ladies, and able to take whatever is thrown at me.

Rish has always been the guy on the show that can't handle the criticism and stuff. But he's not the only one. That stuff really messes me up. After that, I was depressed enough that I didn't feel like doing my writing on my lunch. Luckily I'd already run in the morning, or I surely would have skipped that too. On top of that, I had to go buy myself a candy bar, and that didn't make me feel better either, but I did wish later that I didn't insist on sabotaging my weight loss goals.

How is that the internet's fault? Well, it's not really. But the things like this that mess me up wouldn't be available to me if there were no internet. If I had been in the presence of my friend, instead of just chatting over the computer, I probably could have used tone of voice and so forth to make the intent of my joke plain. Not possible without a voice.

This kind of thing has happened to me before. With internet message boards, where misunderstandings were propelled out of control, and I wind up upset and depressed for the whole day. When selling things on Ebay, and suddenly some buyer wants to attack me for something I either did or didn't do, and I'm upset and depressed for days. Or on our show's comment section, where people decided to come after us, and no amount of explaining our intent could make things better. I wound up depressed and upset from some of those for weeks.

I guess with every good thing, there's always something bad you can do with it as well. I suppose my friend and I will get back on solid ground eventually. I just wish there was some way to avoid doing those things to begin with. I guess that's all part of being human. Nobody's perfect. Especially not me. I'm getting less and less perfect with every passing day.