The Tooth Fairy Gets Put To Work

I think my son has been drinking lots of milk recently or something like that, because his body has been busy growing, building bigger bones, and some new teeth. At least that's the way it seems, because all his baby teeth are falling out, and all at once as well.

Unfortunately for him, his tooth fairy has gotten pretty out of practice, because it's been a little while since he lost his last teeth.

My wife started the tradition of giving the kids candy or a toy along with their money when they lose a tooth. This can be a big pain for me, because I often have to run out to the store late at night to get said candy or toy, because I either haven't heard that the child has lost a tooth or I forgot and failed to get something earlier.

This has only gotten worse now that the coronavirus has arrived, because all the stores close early, even the Walmart, which was always my go-to because it was open 24 hrs, closes early, long before I get home from work.

So, a week ago, my son lost a tooth, put it under his pillow, and nobody told me. The next morning, he checked under his pillow, and found that the tooth fairy had neglected to come by. He told me to call the tooth fairy and let her know, so that he wasn't forgotten again. Except that I forgot, and the next morning, he checked under his pillow and got that sad, dejected feeling again. He reminded me to inform the tooth fairy about his tooth, and I kicked myself for being forgetful.

I told myself I would make sure not to forget again, and get something for him, but then I had things I had to take care of in the morning, and I left for work without remembering to get him something. Once I'm at work, it's too late. Everything shuts down before I get home. I was driving home that night when I realized that I'd done it again.

I was berating myself as I drove home, and thinking that I would have to go out to get something for him first thing in the morning, when I drove past the gas station by our house. Its lights were on and blazing brightly. I had an idea. I could get him a bunch of the things he always wants to buy from the gas station when we go together. He never just wants a regular old candy bar. Instead, he always wants to buy the candy that is also a toy, some kind of car, or cement mixer, or helicopter that also comes with candy.

Kind of lame, at least to me, but to an eight-year-old, it's not necessarily so crappy. It was either that, or leave him disappointed again when he looks under his pillow for the third day in a row. I quickly pulled a U-turn and headed back to the gas station. I bought him a little plastic toilet that had flavored powder in the bowl, and came with two suckers that looked like plungers. You licked the suckers to make them tacky, then plunged the powder filled toilet to cover the plunger suckers with the powder, then licked the powder off. Then repeat until the powder and suckers were gone. Yes, the tooth fairy has some real class.

I got him a big bag of his favorite candy, and a baby bottle sucker thing, and called it good. I took it home, and snuck it under his pillow, and could look forward to him not being let down by his forgetful father again.

The next morning, I got out of bed and found my son on the couch watching TV, and chowing down on all of that candy the tooth fairy brought him. He was happy. None of that stuff was legitimate toys, and it would probably all be in the garbage can by the end of the day, but he liked it. It was better than the nothing that he had gotten from the tooth fairy for the last few days. So I felt good too.

My daughter later told me that she saw him right after he woke up and found the stuff under his pillow, and he said, "It looks like the Tooth Fairy went to the gas station."

He knew where the stuff had come from, and knew that it was lame, but as I said, it was better than nothing. He just kept on believing, because, I suppose, he might be afraid that if we found out that he knows the tooth fairy was us, then the treats might stop coming.

Only a few days later, I got a text from my wife:

I knew what she was hoping for, this thing with running out to the store late at night to get toys for my son when he loses a tooth had become such an issue that the last time he had a rash of lost teeth I started buying extra toys that I could give him if he lost a tooth late at night. Unfortunately, I was not prepared like that, and we were out of luck once again.

He caught my wife texting to me, however. "What is that?" he asked. "It says 'Do you have any tooth fairy stuff?' Who are you texting that to?"

My wife had been caught red-handed. She had to come up with something fast.

"I was just texting the Tooth Fairy," she said.

"But it says Big there on the top," he countered.

Now she had really been caught, but she was quick on her feet.

"No, it says Brig. It's short for Brigit. That's the Tooth Fairy's name. It's like Big, but different."

My son accepted that, and went away excited to know the Tooth Fairy's name. A few days later, I heard my daughter mentioning Brigit to my son, and had to ask what they were talking about. She told me the story, and it made me chuckle (though I made sure to do it inwardly so I didn't give anything away to my son).

He chimed in when she finished the story, "Yeah, Brigit's name sounds like that, but it's spelled exactly like your name."

"That's interesting," I said, but only smiled inwardly. Funny stuff.

That day, on the way to work, I grabbed my  son a couple of Lego Minifigures that he wanted from Walmart, so the early closing time couldn't get me again. When I went up to his room that night to slip it under his pillow, I found this:

That is his trap for the Tooth Fairy. When the Tooth Fairy walked into his room, she would kick the string, making noise that would wake him up so he could get a look at the Tooth Fairy. It was supposed to be a bell, but we didn't have one, so he got the next best thing he could think of, a set of keys sound like a bell sometimes. My daughter forewarned Brigit about the trap, however, so I was able to easily avoid it, and get him his treat.

The next morning, he was upset to find that his trap had never been sprung. When he wondered how, I told him that the Tooth Fairy surely flew over the top of the string.

He enjoyed the Lego guys, and was already plotting what might work better to catch a glimpse of the Tooth Fairy. Worse yet, he's already got another loose tooth.