I still can't work out, so, I don't know how to lose weight. This week, I only managed to lose 0.2 lbs. That's mostly my own fault, though. I wasn't careful in my eating. I allowed myself to indulge in sweets and carbs way to many times this week. I'm lucky, really, that I didn't gain weight.
The doctor called me back with my blood test results this Thursday, and he said the markers for Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lupus were not present. What was high were the markers that indicated something might be wrong with my heart.
That thing that I couldn't remember the name of last week when I wrote my update? Well, I now know that it's called Dilated Cardiomyopathy. Where my heart has become enlarged and cannot pump blood as efficiently. One of the symptoms is swelling in the legs, which I have. It sounds like this could be it.
The doctor wanted me to get a chest X-ray, to determine if my heart has indeed become enlarged. On Saturday, I got the X-ray. Today, perhaps, I'll hear from the doctor about the results. But it's starting to look like I'll spend the rest of my life as a heart patient.
What does that mean? I don't know. From what I've heard, it means bland food and a lot of aerobic exercise, and of course the possibility of having a heart attack at any moment. Yay! Sounds like fun, right? You never know what's around the river bend when you're a heart patient. Then again, it's that way with life in general, isn't it? For all I know, I could die in a horrific car accident on the way home from work tonight, and this whole heart patient thing won't matter a whole lot, will it?
Sorry for my tendency toward the maudlin, it's just my nature. I have a hard time avoiding it.
Again, I ask, what does it mean? Well, as far as this weight loss challenge goes, I'm going to stick with it, because now more than ever, I need to lose weight and give my heart a break. I'm also going to stop putzing around with unimportant BS, and make sure to achieve some of the things that I want to achieve with my life, because, even if it may be no more true now than it ever was, it feels like the Grim Reaper is standing behind me, smiling big, and breathing down my neck.
I may outlive you all, really, no one knows the future, but however long I live, I'm going to make sure that I really live.
6 comments:
I had no idea you were dealing with anything like this. Yikes! How scary and upsetting. True, none of us are guaranteed to see tomorrow, but it's still sobering to face potentially serious health issues. I'm sorry you are and I hope you get some encouraging news from your Dr. soon.
(Also, I can't help but be worried that those Jackie lines that I made you do twice had something to do with this... They certainly couldn't have helped! ;) )
Take care.
Best of luck with the diagnosis, I hope it turns out to be nothing, but know that you've got friends that read your blog, even when you are using it to vent. (Which is important.) If you need help achieving any of those goals, feel free to ask.
I think that, under the circumstances, you are allowed to be a little maudlin. Maud all you want to. We won't mind. Just know there are people here who care and are willing to listen.
Well, it's not such a bad thing to admit that you have a big heart, is it? We all knew it anyway. But seriously, take care of yourself. Your story and others have started to kick me in the butt to start losing weight again.
Oy, that's what I was afraid of when you described your symptoms. It probably won't change your life as much as a diagnosis of, say, diabetes. But it will change your life. Hang in there.
Sorry to hear this. Hoping for the best. I think when people are dealing with anything difficult they are allowed to be upset about it. Where does it say we need to be happy at all times when we are not? It's difficult to keep up with good diet and exercise even when you don't have health issues involved. Hang in there.
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