Ready For Alcohol

I went to Aldi, our favorite grocery store, a few weeks ago, just to grab a few quick things early in the morning. I needed some meat to eat, so I got a chub of ground beef, and took it up to the cashier. As she rang me up, I asked, "How are you?"

"Ready for alcohol," she responded. A response that's, I guess, half cute and half disturbing. Aren't we all ready for alcohol sometimes?

As I paid, I tried to continue the small talk. "Woah, isn't it a little early for alcohol? I mean, I know it's always five o'clock somewhere, but..."

"Oh," she said in a more argumentative tone than I expected, "I've been here since 4:00 AM, so it's not early for me."

"Oh, okay," I said, finishing up, and getting my receipt, "well, good luck. I hope your day improves."

I went along my way.

Then, a week later, I was back at the store again. I was, of course, buying more meat for my carnivore challenge. I got to the check out counter, but there was a line--several people up ahead. The same cashier was at the register, and the guy at the front of the line asked her how she was doing as she scanned through his purchases.

"Ready for alcohol," she responded...again.

 

At the end of the line, there was a big display of six-packs of beer. So I grabbed one and held it up.

"Here's some," I said, "you want me to hand it down there?"

She didn't seem pleased. I suppose my friendly banter wasn't welcome.

Again, with a less friendly tone than I suspected, she said, "Ew, beer? I never drink beer. I only drink hard liquor."

I didn't get this woman. Always a little unfriendly, and always with the same opening line that made it sound like she wanted to joke around but didn't. I'd seen her behind the register twice, and both times she'd used the "ready for alcohol" line. Weird, if you ask me.

I bought my groceries without saying much more, and went on my way.

Fast forward to just the other day, I was back at the store getting something to eat, and when I got into the line, I saw that the same cashier was there again. I'd had enough of her, so I figured I would skip any interaction beyond the usual responding in the affirmative when she asked if I found everything okay.

I didn't want to hear her use that stupid "ready for alcohol" line again. I bought my groceries, and moved over to the table they have for you to bag them in your sustainable, reusable bags. I loaded them all up, and headed for the door, glad that I didn't hear "ready for alcohol" for the third time from this cashier.

As the sliding door whooshed open for me, I heard the customer behind me step up to the counter and ask, "how are you today?"

Just before I managed to get out the door, I heard her say, "ready for alcohol."