Saturday, March 21, 2020

I Finished My Novel


I've been writing day in and day out since October 28th of last year. I certainly haven't been perfect, writing every single day since October, but in January I really got my act together, and now I'm currently on my 61st consecutive day of writing without missing one. I've worked on several different things during that time, but the thing I've worked the most consistently on is my novel, Sunny & Gray, part 2: Gray, and I'm proud to announce that on Thursday, on day 60 of my consecutive streak, I wrote the very last sentence in the book.


If ended up at 100,738 words long, which according to my word processing program is 346 pages long. Though I've always heard that manuscripts are roughly 250 words per finished page, and 100,738 divided by 250 is 403 pages. I don't really know what to trust or how that works. I suppose, depending on your line spacing and margin sizes, your book can be any varying number of pages. How many of us didn't make our essays in school look better by adjusting the spacing until it filled the paper out better?

Granted, this is actually the second novel that I've finished. The first one being Sunny & Gray, Part 1: Sunny, but I in no way feel like I'm an old pro at this because I did it before.


Writing a whole novel is a relatively monumental undertaking. You don't just sit down and pound it out in a day or a week (unless you're that weird lady Rish and I saw and a panel once who basically locks herself in a hotel room for a weekend, wears adult diapers, and sleeps three hours a night to write a book in one weekend). Instead it takes a lot of dedication and perseverance. You gotta keep coming back day after day for a long time to get a whole novel written.

I have never been known for my perseverance or my strength of will. I'm mostly known for that time I managed to eat four entire large pepperoni pizzas in one sitting. I made the news, and then President George Bush used my story as a way to highlight what was wrong with kids these days in his State of the Union address that year. I have been a legend ever since that feat, but that was a short burst kind of a thing. I was done in 23 minutes and 38 seconds; I didn't have to keep at it for a long period of time. So, finishing a novel that runs into the six figures in word count is an absolutely amazing feat for me.

Last time, when I finished writing my first novel, the aforementioned Sunny & Gray, Part 1: Sunny, I was on a weird buzz the rest of the night. I walked around filled with a jittery energy and butterflies in my stomach for what was left of the day. This time around it was similar, but not quite as strong, which is kind of a bummer. I can't expect it to always be the same, though. There's a reason addicts are always doing more and more and heavier and heavier drugs, and it's because they are chasing that first high that they got. The next one never is quite as amazing as the first time, and the law of diminishing returns makes it less and less satisfying from then on out. On top of that, I finished writing it so late at night that I went straight to bed as soon as I was done writing. So the buzz didn't last very long before I zonked out, and by morning it didn't remain.

Dean Wesley Smith talks about publishing myths in his book Killing the Top Ten Sacred Cows of Publishing, and one of his myths is that every book needs to be an event. He says no, after your first book, which is in fact a pretty big deal, finishing a book is just a minor achievement. Give yourself a pat on the back and get back to work on the next one.

A book is an acutal event when an author finishes his or her first novel. Now, that’s something special and should be celebrated with friends and family with a good dinner, maybe cards, flowers, something special like a cake. Finishing a first novel puts the writer in a very small minority of writers. Most writers talk about writing, but never find the time to write, let alone to do what it takes to write an entire novel, working for weeks or months to do it. Finishing a first novel is a small event. Celebrate, then put the novel in the mail and get started on the next one.

Kevin J. Anderson sent me a great card after I finished my first novel. On the face of the card is four pictures of a very small mouse pushing a huge elephant up a steep hill. When you open the card, it shows the mouse, sweating, with the elephant at the top of the hill, and at the base of the hill is a herd of elephants just waiting. The caption says, “Great work! Now, do it again.”

I guess that's good advice. I can't sit around patting my back for too long. For one, I've still got a lot of days this year that I've committed to writing, so I need to keep going. Sadly, I'm not sure what I'm going to write next. I haven't been planning ahead for that like I should have been. I started reading my outlining book, but haven't finished it yet, or put any of the things that the author says I should do into practice. I have a pretty in depth treatment that I wrote last year for my novel idea called The Gauntlet, but I haven't even read that through since last year when I wrote it in the first place. There's probably a good deal of work that still needs to be done on it before I start.

I was thinking of writing another Christmas story, and trying to put out a collection of Christmas stories this coming November.

Right now I've got "The Christmas Creature", which we ran on the Dunesteef this last December (part 1, part 2); "A Christmas Wish," which we ran on the show in 2016, "Dear Santa," which we ran on the show back in 2014; and an all-new prose version of "The Spirit of Christmas" that Rish and I did together for our Christmas episode in 2009. Add to that, the new story that I just wrote this last December to the prompt, "You're invited to your girlfriend's/boyfriend's family Christmas dinner for the first time, but the meal isn't what you were expecting." That one is called "Reiterating Christmas."

Those five stories add up to 37,870 words, not terrible, but using the divide by 250 method, that only makes 152 pages, which seems a little spare for a book. If I wrote one or two more stories, then maybe people would be more satisfied with what they got. I had an idea that involves snowmen, and I thought it might be good. So, I'll probably start writing that while I see if I can't get my act together so that I can start The Gauntlet when I finish.


So, I guess it's time to follow Dean Wesley Smith's advice (or Kevin J. Anderson's I suppose) and do it again. Back to work.

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